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A fter encountering much criticism following their handling of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, FEMA was determined to restore it’s national image by immediately responding to the recent earthquake in Haiti. Representatives from the agency stressed that, following the blunder in New Orleans, their action was crucial to rebuild the organization’s reputation.
“I can’t tell you how important it is for us as a government organization to react to this emergency in a timely, effective, and efficient manner,” stated FEMA spokesperson Patricia Rollins. “The world is watching what we do on this issue, so we can’t mess this one up. We really have to come through on this one.” Immediately following the quake, members of the agency loaded up their trucks with food, bottled water, and medical supplies and headed south towards New Orleans. “We heard there was an emergency. Where’s the problem?” asked a FEMA agent John Brown. “Sorry we’re late. We just heard about the problem on television and we got here as down as we could. We will do everything we can to help you in this time of need. More help is already on the way.” “What the hell are you doing here now!” screamed New Orleans resident Sharice Oliver. “ The earthquake was in Haiti! Why are you here! Get out!” “Ma’am, just calm down, we know that the earthquake is stressing you out but we need you to calm down. Here, eat some of this gumbo that we picked up on the way. Now we need you to help us distribute these supplies to the rest of the community. You know what, let me finish that gumbo, and you can dole out the supplies because I don’t know this area too well.” “Hey you idiot!!! The earthquake was not in New –“ “Ma’am I’m gonna need you to calm down. Anger will lead us nowhere. Just point us in the direction of the earthquake. Which way did it go? You know what? Why don’t we both calm our nerves over this bowl of gumbo and then once we finish we can discuss the best way to respond to the disaster.” “But you don’t understand—“ “Just finish you gumbo,” stated John Brown succinctly, as licked sauce from his rosy cheeks. “You aren’t in a rush are you, you don’t have to be anywhere do you? Good. Just finish you gumbo and then we’ll discuss the best plan of action. I promise you the earthquake isn’t going anywhere.” After the FEMA agents were notified that the natural disaster occurred in Haiti, not New Orleans, they were dumfounded, and furiously rechecked their MapQuest driving directions “God dammit! Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” screamed John, as he rechecked the MapQuest driving directions. “ I told our driver Lenny that he took a wrong turn somewhere,” “That’s the last time I let him drive. . I think he took a wrong left by Illinois somewhere. Everybody back in the truck! We gotta go!” The FEMA employees then checked their map to find the quickest route from New Orleans to Haiti and sped off on the Belton Freeway North towards Tennessee Reporting Live…this is Satire Jones To Donate: https://www.theirc.org/donate/donate-now The IRC has a great track record of assisting in international relief efforts. 90% of its funding goes to those in need, while only 10% of the money is spent on administrative functions.
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