Politics Barack Obama Learning To Make Love to Michelle Without Use of Teleprompter
| Barack Obama Learning To Make Love to Michelle Without Use of Teleprompter |
I n what has been an increasing problem since Barack Obama’s inauguration as the 44th president of the United States, Michelle Obama recently stated that Barack would no longer be privileged to use the teleprompter during their lovemaking sessions. While this was not a huge problem initially, Michelle has complained that the teleprompter has become rather intrusive and is hindering her husband’s performance.
“This, much like our withdrawal of troops from Iraq, is going to be a long and arduous process. I don’t want to just lay off the teleprompter because that could lead to civil unrest. It is going to be a slow withdrawal, and my little troop should be completely teleprompter free by 2011.” Barack added… “Look, I’m giving one thousand speeches a year not, and I guess I get a little reliant on the teleprompter. I didn’t even realize I was using it so much until I had to put on my reading glasses to tell Michelle how good the pussy was. That’s when I realized not only that I needed a stronger prescription for my glasses, but that I also needed to change.” Michelle even described some instances when the teleprompter would malfunction, and display a political speech rather than the sexual speeches that she is used to. “This is getting ridiculous,” said a sleepy Michelle. “We’re trying to make love and Barack is over here honoring the troops and discussing nuclear disarmament, and he’s squinting to read the words. I mean yes, I like his policies and I didn’t even realize that was his stance on nuclear proliferation, but it completely killed the mood.” President Obama held a closed door meeting to give members of the press a glimpse of what he would recite while making love to Michelle. The President showed members of Satire Jones a speech that would read… “Oh yes. Oh yes. This is amazing. Pleasure. Pleasure. How does that feel wife. It most likely feels good wife. Hope. Change. Change we can believe in. This orgasm has been approved by Barack Obama. God Bless America. Look somber into Camera 4” When searching for guidance, Barack would look towards Bill Clinton for advice on when it would be suitable to use the teleprompter. “Barack is a young president, but he’ll learn. I guess this is just part of his change platform,” said Clinton. “Honestly I don’t see the real issue with having a teleprompter in the room while you’re sleeping with your wife. Better that than a video camera. And at least they’re making love. When I was President I slipped a clause in some obscure legislation stating all politicians including the President would be barred from seeing Hillary naked. Of course the bill passed by an overwhelming margin.” While life has been difficult without the teleprompter, Barack has maintained that his performance would improve. President Obama stated that on the first night without the prompter, he wouldn’t know what to say to Michelle so he would often congratulate her on the fine work she is doing in raising her children and how her garden is “really something,” and then goes on long diatribes about his biracial background. The first lady offered a glimpse of what the first few days without the teleprompter has been like. "I’m realizing that this has been much much harder than I thought it would be. We need to make this issue number 1. Just yesterday, after we had sex I caught Barack smoking a cigarette and cuddling with the teleprompter. Forget about Iraq, Guantanamo, Afghanistan, or the economy. Believe me, we need a bailout in the bedroom.” As soon as Michelle Obama revealed this to the Satire Jones staff, Bill Clinton crashed through a window into the blue room of the White House screaming… “My penis just tingled. Is everything okay?” Reporting Live from Pleasure. Pleasure. This is Amazing….This Satire Jones
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