|
S ince the advent of television, Americans have gradually spent less and less time with heir family and friends, and now with Americans viewing an average of eight hours of television per day, many have completely disbanded from their families altogether. However, recent recent breakthrough’s now allow for 3-D TV’s, which have many avid television viewers rejoicing at they though that there is now a technology that would finally replicate what having a real family would be like. “I’m so excited, I can’t wait for this to come out. Look, I don’t need to tell you that when I come home from work I don’t want to talk to anybody in my house,” said carpenter Sam Smith. “That’s a given for anybody with a family. So what this new 3-d technology allows for is a family that I don’ have to talk to. A much more understanding, and lifelike family, that I can really appreciate. Hopefully my wife or kids buy it for me for my birthday. That would really prove how much they love me.” As Americans and the world grew more reliant on television, the tube began to take on the role of the patriarch and the head of the household, oftentimes instructing viewers to “Say no to drugs” and “Read.” However, as television grew more captivating, it encapsulated its viewers in a nest of dependency, leaving them completely isolated and without the means to talk to anybody in their homes. Satire Jones sat down and spoke with television fanatic Jonathan Burke, on how this brand new technology would affect his family life: Satire Jones: Good Evening Jonathan how are you today? Jonathan Burke: Good and you. Satire Jones: Let’s first discuss, how has television affected your familial life? Jonathan Burke: I’d first like to say off the bat that I love television, I thank God for it during every televised church show. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss my 5 year old son, or I didn’t miss my two year old daughter. And I’d even be lying even more if I said I knew where they were or what their last names were. Satire Jones: Did you check around your neighborhood and call the police? Jonathan Burke: No, but I checked every tv channel to see if they were there. Nothing. I checked MTV, The Baby Channel, Diaper Cuties, ESPN. I searched every television station day and night but they hadn’t come up yet. It’s so disheartening. Satire Jones: …….. Jonathan Burke: And if there was a channel where I could watch them everyday, I would, just to check up on them, see how they are doing. But I’m just not sure that I can afford that channel, and to be honest, beween me and you, I’m not even sure that I would watch it because it would be boring. Maybe I would watch it when they grew up and were teenagers and did some sleazy scandalous stuff like steal a car or sleep with a guy they didn’t know, that would be good TV. But for now I wouldn’t watch it. Satire Jones: If you were to find your children, what would that moment be like? Johnathan Burke: I wouldn’t even know how to control them. If the they are speaking too low how do I raise the volume? What if I want one of them to start speaking Spanish to me on command, how do I put the SAP button on? It’s too complicated. That’s why it’s truly a blessing to have these 3-d televisions now, because not only can I finally have a family in my house that will never abandon me, but if I go to my cousins house and he has a 3-d tv I’ll have a family there, and if I go to my sisters house, if she has a 3-d television, I’ll have a family there too. It’s a global village. And as we all know, it takes a village to raise a child. Reporting Live in 3D…this is Satire Jones
 |
Entertainment 
Subscribe to this comment's feed
