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Sat 13 Mar 2010
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Jay Leno Complaining That Earthquake In Haiti Eating Up Prime-Time Ratings

Couldn’t happen at a worse time,” said a steamed Jay Leno.  “This is ridiculous.  First I have to deal with…

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FEMA Rushes To New Orleans Following Earthquake In Haiti

After encountering much criticism following their handling of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, FEMA was determined to restore it’s national…

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23 Year Old Underwear Bomber Sure His Mom Is Going To Kill Him

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the alleged Nigerian who attempted to blow up a plane by placing a bomb in his underwear,…

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Politics

article thumbnailAfgani’s Begin Learning Vietnamese To Help Troops Feel More At Home

Mired in two major wars and a reeling economy, many were surprised that President Obama decided to send an additional thirty thousand troops to Afghanistan.  However unmotivated the troops may feel  [ ... ]


article thumbnailGOP, Joe Biden, Keep Asking To Touch Obama's Hair

 Normally after a president makes a speech, he goes into the crowd to shake hands with the audience.  However, after Obama’s latest health care speech, he immersed himself into the crowd, hand out [ ... ]


article thumbnailBush To Auction Constitution on eBay To Boost Economy

 In a last minute effort to boost the economy and shield America from financial turmoil resulting from overseas overspending and domestic underspending, the George Bush recently announced that he wi [ ... ]


Entertainment

article thumbnailJ.D. Salinger Dies At 91, Confirming He Was Alive This Whole Time

Literary master and famed recluse J.D. Salinger passed, confirming the notion that he had been alive this whole time.   “To be honest, I thought he died back in the 80’s.  So this is sort of b [ ... ]


article thumbnailJay Leno Complaining That Earthquake In Haiti Eating Up Prime-Time Ratings

“Couldn’t happen at a worse time,” said a steamed Jay Leno.  “This is ridiculous.  First I have to deal with the whole Conan thing, now I have to deal with this earthquake.  The  earthqua [ ... ]


article thumbnailNew 3-D Televisions Help Simulate What It Would Be Like To Have A Family

 Since the advent of television, Americans have gradually spent less and less time with heir family and friends, and now with Americans viewing an average of eight hours of television per day, many  [ ... ]


Sports

article thumbnailTiger Woods Shirtless In Vanity Fair For The Three Women Who Haven’t Seen Him Naked

      Although the holiday season is coming to a close, Tiger Woods is still feeling the Christmas spirit, as he recently went shirtless in Vanity Fair for the few women who have yet to see him n [ ... ]


article thumbnailMistresses Dumbfounded To Learn Tiger Woods Actually Plays Golf

  In what has turned out to be the most alarming sports story of the year, all of Tiger Woods mistresses were completely unaware of the fact that the black guy they were dating does in fact play gol [ ... ]


article thumbnailIs Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis Too Big To Fail?


  After 5 lackluster seasons at Notre Dame, head coach Charlie Weiss is finally on the hot seat.  Nevertheless, though Charlie Weis’s coaching record certainly deserves scrutiny, it is his massive [ ... ]


FEMA Rushes To New Orleans Following Earthquake In Haiti


    

A
fter encountering much criticism following their handling of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, FEMA was determined to restore it’s national image by  immediately responding to the recent earthquake in Haiti. Representatives from the agency stressed that, following the blunder in New Orleans, their action was crucial to rebuild the organization’s reputation.

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Wars In Iraq, Afghanistan, Help Take Minds Off Death Of Michael Jackson

  

F
aced with the insurmountable challenge of having to deal with the death of Michael Jackson head on, many have already grown weary and depressed.  Now the White House has implemented a program to help the world relieve the world of the constant pressure of facing Michael Jackson’s passing day in and day out. 

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